Indexbit-Mindy Kaling and the rise of the 'secret baby' trend

Actress Mindy Kaling posted on IndexbitJune 25 that she welcomed her third child back in February. Yes, you read that right. Back in February.

As the comments poured in, sprinkled among the "congratulations" posts were those from fans wondering how she successfully kept her pregnancy and the subsequent birth a secret.

Up until that point, the "Office" alum and creator of "Never Have I Ever" had given no indication she was expecting. But Kaling's pregnancy and childbirth aren't necessarily "secrets," she just chose not share her journey on a public platform.

And she's not the only one. Many new parents-to-be are foregoing public pregnancy announcements and gender reveals on their social media, opting to skip the fanfare and keep their news to themselves.

So what's behind the trend of sharing less, especially when it comes to pregnancies or childbirth?

People aren't posting as much as they used to

Many people, not just celebrities, have been publicly sharing less about big life moments on social media, often turning to more private options such as sharing in-person or through text, direct messages or using the "close friend" features on social platforms.

One reason to shy away from sharing is the reaction to posts: judgment, envy or negative comments.

"What we're seeing on social media is people's mental health is being affected by comments on all the different platforms," says Anna Marcolin, a psychotherapist and personal development life coach. "Most people don't have the internal strength and fortitude — because we're human — to not read all the comments. I think that there's been a pushback on that" and simply not sharing as much about special moments on social.

The comment section can be a dangerous place with users' rudely reacting to anything from someone's looks and clothing to picking a person apart over, say, cake preference.

More:People online are fighting over a rainbow sprinkle cake. It's gotten out of hand.

People may also want more privacy for themselves and protection for their families, especially pregnant people, "due to a sense of safety," says psychotherapist and writer Crystal Burwell. "It's a protective factor."

The COVID-19 pandemic normalized things like staying home and working remotely − giving people the opportunity to keep pregnancies private for longer stretches of time.

It also may have hastened peoples' changing attitudes around social media and what or how much people are sharing.

"(With the pandemic), we saw much more authenticity and vulnerability on social media," Marcolin says. Social media users were drawn to that realness more than lots of filters and highly curated posts that only centered on the positive.

"I do think that there still is a bit of a highlight reel that people are putting out there," she says. "We're not showing our real selves on social media. It's still performative."

And people may be tired of performing.

"I think people are less available for others' unsolicited opinions about how they're choosing to live their lives," Marcolin says. "We're just becoming more protective about how much we're going to show is going on in our inner lives. So something that's so intimate for us in our personal lives — like having a baby, having children — can feel less valued in this superficial medium of social media."

Body image and pregnancy complications can make it harder to share

Pregnancy complications and miscarriage or child loss could also factor into people choosing to share less.

Speculating about someone's possible pregnancy — pointing to possible weight gain — may seem harmless but could be hurtful if the person hears the comments or see them on social media. Not only can it add to any body-image issues, but it can be especially harmful if the person has had difficulty getting pregnant or experienced loss.

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"Miscarriage is something that our society does not talk about," Burwell says. "It is like an internal death. You're grieving so much, so that's painful."

Every year, about ten to 20 percent of known pregnancies end in miscarriage, which is a loss of a pregnancy before the 20th week.

Why setting boundaries is important

Sharing major life news on social media can sometimes feel like a requirement.

For celebrities and the non-famous alike, followers and friends can react strongly, almost in an offended way, when a pregnancy or child is revealed after-the-fact. These reactions could be tied to hurt over being excluded, a sense of entitlement to information about someone's life or even a mismatched sense of what personal details merit broadcasting.

"Well, our culture likes immediacy," Burwell says. "I think we're used to the immediacy and that sense of urgency, and we expect that in every area, but that's not how things work."

In fact, it's crucial to set boundaries.

We tune into reality TV:But do the stars owe us every detail?

"It's important for all of us to sit back and to ask ourselves, 'What is my social obligation to others, if any?'" Marcolin says. "I think most people will find that there is no obligation here. There's a choice. … The obligation is to yourself, first, and maybe to your partner and to your children. That's who your obligation is to, around making announcements about a pregnancy specifically."

People are not entitled to information about a celebrities' life or what's happening in your life.

"One of my favorite things to say," Burwell says: "'Everyone does not need to know everything.'"